This is part of Beyond Networking, a 40-page companion guide to the Community Made podcast by Jayson Gaignard. You can download the full book here.
Warning: This Journey Has No Promise of Success
Reaching the unreachable is difficult, far more art than science. You may do everything “right,” even for a long time, and still have nothing to show for it.
But sometimes reaching that one person is worth it. This section gives you tools to try.
Connect with Big Names by Cutting Through the Noise
If you want to connect with big names, you have to cut through the noise. Your contact must stand out from all other requests, and the bigger the name, the harder the task.
Keep this in mind when choosing who to reach and how to reach them.
The Power of Asking
The first step in connecting with big names is getting out of your own way.
Most people defeat themselves before getting started. And even those who try rarely play all-out.
In the digital age, getting your message in front of someone is easier than ever. But doing the work required to elicit a response remains just as difficult. As Jayson reminds people, “The success of your outreach is often in direct proportion to the amount of effort you put into it.”
Use Skills to Open Doors Money Cannot
One effective way to reach the ultra-successful is solving a pressing need for free.
This requires several steps.
First, identify their needs. Do some online digging to find the status of their current projects. Then brainstorm some challenges they may need to overcome, along with how you could help.
Second, reach out with a clear value proposition. Show you did your research, make a clear offer, and be sure to communicate you’ll do the work for free, with no strings attached.
Third, supply social proof. Include examples of past work to show your competence and ability. (And if you don’t have any past work to showcase, see the next section on trading up the chain.)
Fourth, overdeliver. Do everything in your power to wow them with your contributions. The more extraordinary your contribution, the more opportunities you’ll get in the future.
Trade Up the Chain with Social Proof
Reaching the unreachable is rarely the first step in any process. In fact, landing a dream opportunity without the requisite preparedness is likely to produce a bad first impression.
Instead of starting at the top, do free work for smaller organizations. These opportunities help you practice your skills and, if the work is done well, provide credibility for bigger projects.
They also help you practice the outreach process.
For example, you might start with a business in your local community, move to helping a larger organization, support a rising star, and only then start reaching out to the best in a field.
By that point you’ll have the social proof to land the opportunity and the expertise to do it well.
Help Successful People Achieve Significance
Another way to reach the unreachable is by helping them achieve significance.
Everyone wants to feel like what they do matters, especially those who are already successful.
It’s as Zig Ziglar said, “We go from survival to sustainability, sustainability to success, and success to significance.”
Consider how you can help a ‘success’ feel significant.
Has your life been impacted by their work? Tell a specific story about the difference they made.
Have you shared their ideas with others? Talk about what made their ideas so captivating.
The key lesson is that you can’t contact people just for the sake of reaching them. There has to be some sort of value-add—even if it’s just an expression of gratitude—without a covert contract.
To again quote Zig Ziglar, “You can get anything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.”
Working with Gatekeepers
Very successful people are often surrounded by a team: spouse, assistant, even chauffeur.
Get to know these people. Not only can they help you get access, but they tend to be quite interesting. You’ll also get a lot further if you consider these people allies, not opponents.
Riffing on Tony Robbins, Jayson says, “If you want to influence someone, influence those who already influence them.” There are few better places to start than with their team.
Beyond someone’s immediate team, there’s also value in exploring their charity.
There’s an expression that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Well, the way to a wealthy person’s heart is often through their charity. In fact, you may be able to trade a donation for access to someone’s time.
It’s also worth reiterating the value of being memorable and cutting through the noise.
Jayson sometimes does this by mailing LCD cards, which are physical cards with a little screen on which you can upload a video.
While successful people receive thousands of emails and hundreds of letters, they may never have seen an LCD card before. If you get them curious, you might get them hooked.
Turning Rejection into Opportunity
If you reach out to successful people, you’re going to get rejections. Worse, you might not hear back at all. It’s how the game works: you shoot lots of thoughtful shots in the hopes that a couple transform your life.
But sometimes you can turn those “failures” into successes.
Here’s how:
No Response
Before you do any outreach, get an email open tracker. As the name suggests, this software reveals when someone receives and opens your email, which helps you determine next steps.
If your email was never opened, you know your message wasn’t seen. Try a different subject line and send the email again.
If you can confirm that someone opened your email, you have two main strategies: either restructure and resend the email with a little more information or send the original email again.
Persistence pays, especially with busy, successful people.
Rejection
In cold outreach, any response is a win. Celebrate your “no” accordingly.
Jayson recommends two strategies to turn a “no” into a “yes.”
First, never accept a “no” from someone who cannot give you a “yes.” If a gatekeeper shuts you down, keep looking for another way in. You may get a “yes” when you hit the right person.
Second, if you get to the person you want to reach, ask them, “Under what circumstances would you say ‘yes’?”
Not only does this question get them problem-solving on your behalf, but sometimes it reveals a small concession that completely changes their mind.
Know Your Competitive Advantage
To connect with successful people, you must be worth connecting with. You can do this by being promising, and thus worthy of investment, or fascinating, and thus worthy of intrigue.
For example, Jayson has a friend who has been to 126 countries. Jayson can seat him next to anyone, from millionaires to movie stars, because he knows they’ll find him captivating.
If you’re not sure what makes you worth connecting with, consider developing a personal balance sheet. This should capture your strengths and weaknesses, areas of interest and ignorance, and even ways you can be of service. If you can, enlist the help of friends to get a more well-rounded perspective.
Once you’ve identified your strengths and weaknesses, improve the latter enough that they don’t get you in trouble, then double-down on your strengths. Success comes from exceptionality in a few areas, not well-roundedness across all areas.
And always remember this insight from Jayson’s friend, Michael Fishman: “Credibility can be established with credentials or being transparent that you have no credentials."
Avoid Bad First Impressions
When meeting famous, highly accomplished people, it can be tempting to ask for a picture.
DO NOT DO THIS! You might get the quick photo, but by putting them on a pedestal you kill any chance of a reciprocal long-term relationship.
Instead, try to come alongside them as a peer. Build on an idea they’ve shared or thoughtfully suggest a way they can improve.
When you do this, do it kindly. Studies show that, when meeting new people, we evaluate their warmth first and competence second.
In other words, “Can I trust you?” always comes before “Can I respect you?”
Be kind and you’ll communicate warmth. Be insightful and you’ll communicate competence.
And remember, no photos!
As Jayson says, “It’s better to make no impression than a bad first impression.”
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